My 3 Monsters: October 2009

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A Series of Unfortunate Events

Somedays you just have to be able to laugh. Most days actually. I mentioned in an earlier post how I had over-committed my week. My time was scheduled down to the minute Wednesday if I was going to fit everything in. I had to drop Sis to school early (her choice), run home and flatiron my hair, then run to Young Women's Presidency Meeting by 8:30. Bringing the puppy with us on the school drop off seemed not a big deal. Until she vomited in the van on the way home. Hadn't planned on that. Then, as I was cleaning up the vomit, trying to NOT get it on my freshly ironed blouse, she went #2 on my bedroom floor. Hadn't budgeted time for THAT either.

I just had to chuckle, it reminded me so much of when my three young'uns were all 3 and under. Brent worked the noon to nine shift at work back then. I was trying to feed the three- and one-year old pancakes for dinner (we did that a lot in those days) while nursing the baby. One kid threw up at the table so I decided to scrap dinner and put them all in a bath together. As the tub was filling up, one of my motley little crew went #2 in the tub. So I got them all out, lined them up on a towel to wait while I cleaned and refilled the tub. It wasn't two minutes before another one had gone #2 there on the towel. No sooner had I refilled the tub, put the two bigger kids in, and left the baby screaming on the floor to clean up the new mess, than a kid threw up in the tub. At this point all 4 of us were in tears. I turned on the shower to hose them all down so I could re-diaper them as quickly as possible. Brent came home from work that night to find us all sleeping in a heap on the couch with a barf bowl within my reach and a bathroom-full of "carnage" that I just didn't have the energy to clean up.

That story is funny. Now. Anyway, I got to my meeting on time Wednesday and the rest of my day went according to schedule. So, add dog vomit to the ever growing list of vile smells in my van and add riding in the van to the ever growing list of things I will not do with my dog. And if a little birdie told you I stayed in my pajamas with no make-up on all day yesterday, please cut me some slack. I'm not really as lazy as I look sometimes.


Almost Forgotten Funnies

Overheard: this little exchange between my fine, upstanding sons--

D: I can't wait until I grow up so I can go to jail.
R: What?! You want to go to jail and live with dirty old men and criminals?
D: Yep. Yep, I do.

Me and D on the Autopia ride at Disneyland:

Me: You're doing such a great job driving! (ahem, for the record, he was all over the road)
D: I know. That's why people call me Mr. Awesome. (yeah. no. they don't)

Riley, recapping his day at school: (I had purchased miniature bananas at the grocery store for the kids' lunches. They were super excited about that.)

R: At lunch I took out my little banana and showed it to my friend Mark. Then he said, "That's the littlest banana I've ever seen!"
B: (giggling like a school boy -- dirty mind)
R: What?!
Me: (in my usual capacity of innuendo translator) You took out your "little banana" and showed it to your friend . . . wink, wink, nudge, nudge
All: (uproarious laughter and mildly inappropriate humor for the remainder of dinner)

If you were to peep through our windows on any given day, there's no telling what you'd witness! Every day is a new adventure.


Measure Twice, Buy Once

Why do I think I know everything?

Why don't I double check the facts before I do things?

Why do I do that to myself?

Why do I drive all the way out to Gilbert to exchange a pattern (and pay an extra $9 because the pattern is no longer on sale) without measuring my daughter FIRST so that I would know that the pattern I already had was the right size?


My kids know better -- they question EVERY SINGLE THING I DO.

Whatever. Sis has a beautiful costume, I had a lovely drive in the car, I'm still on schedule for the week, and now I WILL NEVER FORGET that pattern sizing is different than off-the-rack sizing.


Too Busy to Blog? Oh My!

Excuses, excuses. I know. But you should SEE my calendar right now. I coordinated volunteers, sold tickets and chaperoned Sis's first middle school dance last weekend. It was fantastic fun. I just think kids that age are so entertaining. I also got a fabulous haircut, did my Visiting Teaching and deep-cleaned my kids' rooms last week. Yikes! This week I'm sewing a Dorothy dress for Halloween, making salt-dough bats for one kid's class, helping carve pumpkins in both boys classes and baking cookies and french bread for the Teacher Appreciation dinner at the middle school. We have parent-teacher conferences, a birthday party and a book report due. I have Stake Leadership Training Meeting, Young Women's Presidency Meeting and a lunch date with my Visiting Teachers. I've committed to making chili and cornbread for the Chili Cook-Off at Trunk-or-Treat Friday night and I'm determined to win the trunk decorating contest -- hello . . . Haunted Mansion in my trunk . . . complete with chandelier and creepy apothecary? Oh, yeah.

I'm thrilled to death to be busy. I really am. I wouldn't change one thing about my life right now. My one lament is that my poor little blog here is suffering from my neglect. Maybe November will calm down a little . . . after I update the pod calendar at Sis's school, sew a quilt and make hundreds of cake balls for the Young Women in Excellence program . . .


My Debt Has Been Repaid

My idea of a perfect first anniversary:

Complete with "fancy" theme rooms, a whirlpool tub, and complimentary cheesecake.
Sounds good , no?

Maybe not to everyone . . .

My husband's idea of a perfect first anniversary:

You may guess who won this battle. It was the first of many times my husband has let me have my way even though he knew I was wrong. So very wrong.
Ahhh . . . the French Canopy Suite WAS lovely. And oh-so boring! I mean really, how many times can you, ahem, anyway . . . before it just gets old. (And "that" is really the only point of going to that particular hotel on your anniversary.) Too pour salt on the hubby's wounds, as we were watching Grumpy Old Men on the laser disc player (yeah, I'm laughing, too) we could hear said concert going on three short blocks away. We walked over there and sat and listened in the stadium parking lot. It was romantic. And ridiculous.

So yesterday I finally repaid my debt to that wonderful man:

I've owed him a U2 concert for the past twelve and a half years and now we're finally even. He went with friends Chris and Katie and had a fantastic time. I'm glad. He's put up with a lot from me over the years.

(Love you, baby!)


Seems Like Yesterday . . .

She just doesn't stop growing! Or moving. (She's not a poser, that one.)


She was a tiny, unimposing, cuddly little sweet pea with floppy ears who didn't like to take walks. She cried all night and "did her business" wherever she pleased.


Her ears stand straight up, she has discovered barking as a way of getting attention, she eats a banana every day and sleeps through the night. She and I run more than walk for 45 minutes every morning and, at least when it's just me and her home in the daytime, is pleasantly house-trained.

The past couple of months have been quite a learning experience and an adventure. Man, do we love that doggie.


Happy Birthday to ME!!!

Yeah, OK, so yesterday was my 36th birthday. Whatever. Here's the good stuff . . . my friend Jamie (the other mom in "Team Wellson" who took Disneyland by storm last week) invited all three of my children over for a sleepover last night. ALL THREE. Her birthday gift to me was "The Trifecta" I have long dreamed of. It was nice . . . for me. Cassie was sad. Whatever.

Someday I'll be woman enough to return the favor.


Best Vacay Evah!

This week was Fall Break here in Arizona so we decided to take our kids and get the heck out of the heat. We followed Disneyland's siren song with our friends, the Wells, and had the greatest time! We arrived in O.C. on Tuesday afternoon and promptly headed out to Newport Beach. Even in the light drizzle our children HAD to see the ocean.

And gather souvenirs of all kinds.
We didn't think they'd want to do anything but wade in, what with the whipping wind and light rain. We were wrong. They ended up soaking wet and sandy, head to toe. I sure wish I had made them change into swimsuits before we went. I ended up doing a load of laundry after dinner so the kids would have dry jackets to take to Disneyland the next morning.

We woke up Wednesday morning to rain. At first we were a bit worried, but soon decided "Team Well-son" would not be thwarted by a little rain! It turned out to be the best thing that could have happened. The temperature was FANTASTIC and the crowds were sparse. It was, truly, the best day I've ever spent at Disneyland. We stayed from open to close and rode almost everything that was open. It was good, good fun.

Other highlights of the trip: Dinner at Bob's Big Boy with Kelly and Josh, my sister and her husband. Mmmmmm . . . Chili Spaghetti . . . ; and D falling asleep while eating a gordita after a long, exciting day at D-land.

The kids go back to school Tuesday. We're gonna' need the rest of the weekend to recover from all the fun.


Look Away, Taylor and Amanda! Look Away!

I have a new niece and she is absolutely the cutest baby ever! Well, maybe the cutest baby in the past 8 years or so since I got out of the business . . . ahem. Anyway. I couldn't resist getting out the old freezer paper again and doing "my thang" for her. Actually, I made these for her several weeks ago, but I'm determined to mail them off today. But first I think I'll change the ribbon bow on the necklace one to black and white. Thoughts? Congrats Tay and Amanda (because I'm sure you didn't heed my warning and ruined your surprise)! We are so happy for you.


Follow Up

I've delayed sharing the outcome of my little experiment the other day because I've been trying to process the data and analyze results. If you recall, I trashed the living room in an effort to teach my children NOT to trash their bathroom. Perhaps a breach of logic, but I was grasping at straws. Several things happened for which I was not prepared.


my children DID notice the mess. A couple of times they asked, "Mom, why are your clothes out here on the floor?" as they removed them so as to keep their precious puppy from doing damage. Huh. Unexpected.


Sis (that little stinker) read my blog. She knew what I was doing the whole time and acted out accordingly. She is the only one who raised a fuss about having to clean up a "fake mess". The boys, in their special, inefficient way, just plugged along with rather less weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth than I had planned on. Weird.


while we were eating our delicious cake after the fact, I asked my kids if they thought it was unfair that they had to clean up my mess. My boys both said, "No. It was fair because you clean up our stuff all the time. And you're the best mom in the whole world." AWWWWWW . . . . I have good kids. Really good kids.

But their bathroom is still a mess, so, you know. . . it is what it is.


Welcome to MY World . . .

This is my youngest's school planner, in which he receives a grade for his daily behavior. Yeah, you read it right. Yesterday he, apparently, stapled a cricket. I have no words . . .



This weekend was the semiannual General Conference for our church. It was fabulously inspiring. It's nice every six months to get a big old kick-in-the-pants reminder that I can do better and be kinder and serve more. One of the things that sets the Mormon church apart from fellow Christian faiths is that we believe in continuing revelation. We believe that our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, leads our church under the direct guidance of our Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus Christ. It is a wonderful and exciting thing for us to hear him speak. He is always very kind and encouraging, but I always come away with an idea of what more I can do -- the desire to be a little better. I need that every once in a while.

Also this weekend, we had a movie night at church. It's fun to get together with our ward family (our local congregation) and visit. Brent has been called as our ward activities committee chairperson, so he was running the show kind-of. I've resigned myself to the fact that his calling will be an experiment in what we can spill in our van. You may recall the pinto beans and ham hocks of July . . . . Friday night I spilled a 5 gallon cooler of water in the back of the van which, oh happy day, re-released the pinto bean smell that had been precariously held at bay. Yeah . . .

Now, today, I'm working on a real-life kick-in-the-pants lesson of my own to wake my kids up. Remember the photos I posted of their bathroom a few weeks ago? How could you forget, right? Well, their bathroom continues to look like that. Actually, within 24 hour of each cleaning it falls into similar disarray. I'm done!!! I'm going to leave crap all over the living room today -- dirty dishes, used kleenexes (if I can bring myself to do that), clothes, etc. Then I'm going to go get a fabulous-looking dessert for Family Night tonight. We'll go about business as usual this evening (the kids will not even notice the mess) UNTIL it's time for dessert. Then I will tell them that they have to clean up MY mess in the living room before they can have treats. Because, hello, that's my life! I can't do stuff I want to do because I have to clean up their crap. Is that too mean? Will they get it? I'll let you know.


Aw, Dave! Say It Aint So!

Sex scandals in the world of politics are so common now days they are practically expected. Likewise, I'm rarely surprised by anything that happens in the entertainment industry. But David Letterman?! At the center of a sex scandal with "Smitty"?! How can that be true. Not you too, Dave. Not you. I've been a huge fan of his for years. I've lost countless hours of sleep while watching his late-night antics. I have fond memories of going home from college for the summer and watching Dave every night with my dad. I even wore the Mujibar and Sirijule t-shirt he brought home from his trip to New York. Dave was goofy and fatherly and hysterically curmudgeonly. He seemed like a genuinely good guy. I'm just so disappointed.

Should we give him a little credit for going public with it himself on his show last night (after being blackmailed)? No. Not this girl. How a man with a wife and child can sleep with his staffers is beyond the realm of my understanding. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way.


Nothing Much To Say . . .

I like to blog every day. I really try. It's how I vent. But this week for some reason, I got nothin'. I'll start posts and delete them just as quickly because, really, there's nothing there. It's the natural ebb and flow of creativity, I guess. Here are some of the things I thought about saying:
  • I won $100 last night.
  • The Dish Network man was at my house for two and a half hours today setting up our service.
  • I took Riley to the dentist to get two cavities filled and, as it turns out, he only needed one. And he took it without novacaine.
  • Sydney went to her first sleep-away camp-type experience Monday and Tuesday for school. It was so QUIET in our house. And Cass was sad.
  • I made taquitos from scratch. Jose Ole, eat your heart out.
  • The new Bounce Bar is the most fabulous invention for laundry ever. You MUST go get one and put it in your dryer immediately.
  • I volunteered to chair the Middle School PTSO Dance committee. What was I thinking?! Now I have to coordinate ticket sales and chaperones for the upcoming dance. Ugh.
  • Fall Break can't come soon enough.
See! I got nothin'. Whatever. I've been busy as a bee, I just don't have anything interesting to say about it. Let's face it, sooner or later one of my children is going to really mess something up and then we'll all laugh again. Tomorrow is a new day . . .

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