My 3 Monsters: In Honor of Award Show Season . . .

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In Honor of Award Show Season . . .

In the category of "Worst Home Improvement Project Ever Attempted By Amateur Renovators":

  • Painting Kitchen Cabinets (circa 2004)
  • Installing New Shower in Master Bathroom (circa 2006)
  • Removing Popcorn Ceiling from Master Bedroom (circa this past weekend)

And the winner is . . . . . . . . . . . .(drumroll) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Removing Popcorn Ceilings!!!  Accepting this award on behalf of amateur renovators everywhere, Amy G.

Oh my goodness!  This is so unexpected!  I mean, I knew before beginning that this was going to be a miserable task, but by Saturday afternoon, with a head full of plaster-dusty hair and a sore neck, I was pretty sure I had this award in the bag.  I want to thank the builders of the 1980's for their blatant disregard for aesthetic appeal and their dedication to loading the ceiling of my home with pounds of unnecessary plaster.  Without their finish-it-quick-and-not-very-well attitude I wouldn't be where I am today.  Also, a big thank you goes to all the previous residents of my home for smoking indoors with seemingly reckless abandon.  I have spent days basking in the cheap hotel room ambiance that you so kindly and thoughtfully laid the groundwork for all those years ago.  What was holding that aroma at bay for the past six years I'll never know.  To my dear husband, thanks for getting laid off  freeing up your schedule and having a few extra hours to spend with me in the pursuit of this prestigious award.  And finally, to McNeil Pharmaceuticals, the manufacturers of Tylenol, bless you.  I couldn't have done any of these mind-bogglingly terrible jobs without you.  Thank you all!


  1. Not to detract at all from your current "popcorn ceiling" award (congrats by the way), but why was painting your kitchen cabinets a bad thing? With our upcoming remodel/addition, my friend was trying to convince me that I could repaint/stain our cabinets on our own. But now you've got me, Ms. Perfection at all things Home Improvement , had a bad experience with your kitchen cabinets? If that's the case, then I would be in BIG trouble!!! What happened?

  2. See, when you said last week that you were planning to do that, I figured you might be doing it sometime in the next year (my timetable) not actually last week. Congratulations. Is it nice to have it done?

  3. Kristen, We didn't have a problem painting the kitchen cabinets. In fact, I love the result so much I'd do it again. It was just really, really laborious. Not fun. At all. (I'm picturing myself laying flat on my back underneath the pantry shelves painting the inside of the pantry. Yikes. But that was just because we had the pantry built so it was all raw drywall. Otherwise I would not recommend painting the inside of cabinets.) It was beautiful in the end and definitely worth it to save a couple thousand bucks.

    Emily, my husband was thinking along your time table as well. He was shocked to come home from work last week to concrete floors, etc. He understood it to be a "someday" project. Oops.


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