My 3 Monsters: "To Sleep, Perchance to Dream . . ."

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"To Sleep, Perchance to Dream . . ."

Falling asleep is not a thing for which I am naturally gifted.  I struggle with finding my brain's off switch.  I have always so struggled.  My husband, on the other hand, can fall into restful slumber at will.  I'll never forget the night we were laying in bed at the end of a long day, chatting a bit as is our custom.  He said, "I'm not feeling very tired.  I think I'm going to get up and read for a while. ( . . .ten second pause . . .) ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ".   Are you kidding me?!  Then I, who was exhausted, laid there for upwards of an hour listening to him snore.  Cursing him for snoring so.  I've been told that I snore.  I believe it.  But at least I (usually) have the courtesy to wait and fall asleep last, so as not to keep my bunk-mate awake.  It's frustrating to be so tired and have sweet, sweet relief be so elusive.  The more tired I become, the more elusive it seems to be.  Too tired to sleep . . . there's some irony for you.

And when I do fall asleep, it's rarely that deep, poisoned-Disney-princess-esque slumber that rejuvenates and refreshes.  I'm fitful.  I toss and turn.  I wake up a lot. I dream -- vividly and disturbingly. Take two nights ago when I dreamed that B and I bought a new house.  A large, lovely house with a master bathroom the size of our entire current master suite.  A fancy bathroom with a shower that lead into a sauna.  Odd, but we were delighted with it.  B decided to take himself a shower and then test out the new sauna.  He came running out in his towel yelling, "Hot sauna!  Hot sauna!"   It was at that point we realized our friend Mitch was also . . . ummmm . . . using the facilities.   He said, as casually as if relieving himself in front of us happened all the time, "Leave the sauna on.  I want to try it out."  Odd thing is, in the dream Brent and I acted like it happened all the time, too. It doesn't.   Even though it was just a dream, the vision of my good friend's husband on the throne is burned into the back of my eyelids.  It's something that I will never be able to un-see.  And that is why I am always so tired.

The end.

1 comment:

  1. I totally feel your pain. Ambien is the only thing that works for me. I take a pretty pretty pill every night and I am a (mostly) happy camper.


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