My 3 Monsters: To All the Drinks I've Loved Before . . . Round Two

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To All the Drinks I've Loved Before . . .
Round Two

Coke, my love, this isn't easy for me. Dr. Pepper, you better listen, too. And you Mountain Dew and Pepsi (even though you're just my booty-call when Coke isn't available.) 

 Trust me, it's not you. It's me. OK, maybe it's you a little. You're no good for me. We can't continue this self-destructive little dance. You were always there when I needed you, sure. Hot summer day? There. Afternoon drags? There. The Breakfast of Champions? It's you. All you. In my moments of deepest need you were my bubbly, glistening beacon of hope. You got me through my twenties and early thirties - the all-nighters studying for finals, the days with sleepless infants, the half-marathon.You once seemed to be all I would ever need. 

 But I'm on to you. You are the reason I am fat. Don't deny it. Oh, you talk a good game, playing with my taste buds like you do, but underneath it all you're evil. You're loaded with empty calories and regret. Trolling around with drinks like you is fine for younger women, but I've grown. It's time that I found "The One". Something that will support me in my goals. That will make me feel better about myself. Something I can stick with for the long haul. That's right. Water. 

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Water is so boring. So . . . . . . boring. I know. I've flirted with water before and always come back to you, but this time is different. This is for good. Listen, it's not like I'll forget the good times. You'll have a little place in my heart forever. When I see you in the grocery store my pulse will always quicken. When I see another girl enjoying you're company I'll salivate just a little. You'll always be my favorite, but I've made my choice. Have a nice life.

So . . . This little "Dear John" of sorts was originally posted on my blog in August of 2009.  Let's just say my relationship with Coke did not end in a clean break.  I don't know what it is about soda that I have such a hard time letting go of.  Maybe it's because it's my only vice.  I don't smoke or drink and I try, in most ways, to be a good, contributing member of society.  I have just always loved soda.  To the extreme.

Until I woke up one morning several weeks ago and didn't.  Didn't really want it.  Certainly didn't need it.  I had more-or-less moved on.  Just like that.  Over night.  It is really strange.  I still have some of the same old habits -- like taking a quick mental survey of the three nearest McDonald's locations every time I start the engine of my van or changing into the right lane every time I approach a Circle K.  Sadly, I'm only kidding a little bit about that.  I've had Coke a few times since I woke up that one crazy morning, mostly out of habit -- at the movie theater or while I was having a hot date with my glue gun getting ready for a craft boutique.  It just doesn't have the same power over me that it used to, and for that I am grateful.  It will be interesting to see if this new love I've found for drinking water will have some staying power in my life.  Wish us luck - water and I - for a bright and happy future together!


  1. I'm so jealous.... Diet Pepsi is my only vice (your words ring the same here!) And I know how bad it is for me... I'm down to maybe one a day... But when I'm out, McD's here I come - all 99c of you, come to me big guy! Oh the effervescent-y high I get from that big white cup... I hope that my "weaning" isn't in vain... And soon, I too can be free of the hold Pepsi has on me! Good luck to you!

    1. I always wished I could like diet anything. I was hooked on the sugar-laden variety. Not that one is really better than the other. "Oh the effervescent-y high I get from that big white cup..." -- too funny! I know EXACTLY what you mean. Good luck to YOU!


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