My 3 Monsters: Numb Thumb and Glory Hog

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9.26.2010

Numb Thumb and Glory Hog

So, I have some issues.  Physically and emotionally, I guess, if we're trying to put a point on things.  Firstly, my right thumb is numb.  You heard me.  I was cutting out a thousand circles out of fabric last Sunday night in preparation for Super Wednesday and didn't realize until I was done that my hand was really sore and I couldn't feel my thumb.  It happens.  OK, not ever before, but no big deal.  I'm a little bit concerned now, ONE WEEK LATER, that it is still numb.  Time to get some more ergonomic scissors.

Secondly, I am not a good delegator.  I do most things myself.  I don't like to ask for help.  If something is going to have my name attached to it, I need it to be perfect. Which is maybe fine in my personal life, but problematic in my church responsibilities.  I have surrounded myself with really talented women to help with all the activities and events that we have to plan throughout the year.  They are awesome.  And yet for some reason I still try to do everything myself. I didn't ask for any help with Super Wednesday, which was stupid.  These ladies showed up, figured out some of the crafts on their own and helped teach the girls.  I couldn't have done it without them, really.  So why do I make it so difficult for them to help me?  I hope it's not because I want all the attention for myself when things turn out well.  I don't think it is, but I do love a compliment so,  maybe . . .  I keep thinking of the line from Wicked where Elpheba says, "Was I really seeking good, or just seeking attention?"  Is my heart in the right place -- do I want what's best -- or do I just want to show off? I'm really struggling with this.  We have an event coming up in November for which I have a million ideas -- the decor, the invitations, the programs, the food -- I've got it all figured out in my mind.  It would be over-the-top beautiful and the girls would love it.  I know they would.  But I can't do it all myself.  It wouldn't be right.  I shouldn't even ask these fantastic ladies to just bring my vision to life by giving them assignments and telling them exactly how I want it done. I don't want to be that kind of leader.  We need to come up with something that is our combined vision for this event.  It will probably turn out better than my own idea.  And yet I'm having trouble letting go because I think I'm a glory hog. And I HATE that.  Being the organization president is more complicated than I thought.

4 comments:

  1. I was doing a LOT of work one day with an x-acto knife (back in my scrapbook glory days when I spent more time per page...) and my index finger was numb for 2 months. no joke. Nerves take awhile to recover but they're pretty resilient.

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  2. Ugh. Numb Thumb - makes me cringe to think about. Hope it comes back to life soon.

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  3. I totally understand your inability to delegate things. I tend to be the same way. Out of necessity, I've slowly started to learn that things don't always have to be perfect and that people will still value me and my talents even if I don't give 110% every time I do something. Striving for continual perfection in all that we do is EXHAUSTING! (Once I was set apart in a calling and the blessing that I received from my Bishop told me AT LEAST 6 times that things didn't need to be perfect and that my family, and quality time with them, came first. It was at that point that I realized I might have a problem!!) It's a hard change to make, but I'm getting there. Plus, my family and home life is much more at peace when I let others help. Remember to give others a chance to do their callings...if you do it all, how will they have a chance to grow and magnify? It's hard, I know.

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  4. I've had the numb thumb thing before. Twice. When I hit it with a hammer as hard as I could. It lasted for months but finally went away. Hope it goes away (or comes back) soon!

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