My 3 Monsters: Homemaking

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9.12.2011

Homemaking

I've had a copy of this article for years.  It used to be hung on the front of our refrigerator, now it resides on the cork board in my craft closet.  I came across it on Pinterest last night and some of the comments got me to thinking.  {A dangerous pass-time, I know. -- I just love that song in Beauty and the Beast!} Some women think it's quaint and humorous. I fall in with this group, mostly.   But sooooo many women were appalled at the very idea of it.  Angry, even. 

I guess it's no secret, really, that I enjoy the 50's homemaker stereotype.  I'm a stay-home wife and mother.  I bake bread.  I try to keep a clean house and dote on my family.  I wear a cute ruffly apron.  There is almost nothing that brings me more pleasure than my kids coming through the door at the end of the school day and immediately asking me what's for dinner.  Because they're excited about my cooking!  It helps that almost anything I say elicits a, "YES!  Mom, you are on a roll!"  {I've been trying to cook from-scratch meals lately, which my family is enjoying, apparently.}   

But as a REAL girl in 2011 -- one who is sitting in front of the computer in my pajamas as we speak, who is college educated, who can't keep up with the laundry, who volunteers and "works" on many projects at home and in the community --  I don't agree with everything on that list.  I, too, take offense to the idea that my man's life and opinions are more important than my own and that I should never question him about anything.  Brent and I have always been very much equals as husband and wife.  We each shoulder an equal, but different, weight of responsibility for home and family.  At times when one of us is struggling to bear the weight of our responsibility, the other happily steps up and takes a larger portion. It's the only way to make things work.  We certainly don't subscribe to a very traditional division of labor -- he has done his share of diapers and dishes while I have fixed my share of garbage disposals and leaky toilets.  The point is, the work gets done with a hefty portion of mutual respect and admiration.

I cannot say, however, that I am wholly offended by the list either.  I do feel a certain desire, if not responsibility, to make my home a haven for my family to return to after a long, hard day out in the world.  I LIKE to have dinner ready {or at least in the works} when Brent walks through the door in the evening.  I haven't always cared about that, and Brent would NEVER say that he cared either, but I'm learning now how much he appreciates it.  I also really try to straighten up the house -- and myself -- before he gets home. That's how I was raised.  My mom always had us run through the house about 15 minutes before my dad got home to put our junk away.  It's just a nice thing to do. 

Is it really so offensive that we would be expected to be happy to see our husbands when they get home from work?  Or that we greet them with smiles and sincerely want to please them, even if they're late?  I certainly expect him to do the same for me.  No matter how bad his day at work has been {and there have been plenty of pretty bad days lately} I hope I always bring a smile to his face when he comes home. And I am working on not opening the floodgates of my personal frustrations and complaints the very minute he walks through the door.  It's getting easier now that the kids are older and I can communicate with them in a meaningful way.  When they were very young I was desperate for someone to talk to. I'm sure I overwhelmed Brent every single evening.  Don't get me wrong, Brent is very much my "soft place to fall" as Dr. Phil would say.  He hears my complaints and frustrations daily and offers me comfort and advice.  Just later in the evening, after he's had a chance to unwind.  I also try to call or text him if the kids are going to have immediate wants or needs from him so that he can take the hour-long commute home to prepare a response.  Again, it's a nice thing to do.  {And he would do the same for me.  I know it.} 

A good wife SHOULD know her place -- right beside her husband, working hand in hand to build a happy family.  My goal truly is to make sure my home is a place of peace, order, and tranquility where not just my husband, but my whole family can renew themselves in body and spirit.  But he can take off his own shoes and fluff his own pillow.  He's a grown man for heaven's sake, and I've been working all day, too.  Just sayin'...

9 comments:

  1. I love this. It really gives me good ideas on what I can do to make things easier for my husband when he comes home. And it doesn't offend me because I know that Race and I are equals and so does he. We treat each other as equals and we both do things to make coming home after a long day more relaxing and enjoyable. Thanks for this!

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  2. There is some truth to this! I know how it feels to come home to a messy house with kids everywhere and hubby sitting in the recliner. It's not such a great feeling.

    I also know how delightful it is to come home smelling dinner (it happens when I use the crockpot). We all should try and make our home a healing place!

    This little ditty made me laugh. I emailed it to the hubby and this was his response:

    "I know you are working hard on these important traits, and someday, you may become proficient in some of them.

    And before you respond, remember, it is not your place to question or be critical of my comments.

    Love you ;)"

    Thanks for making my day :)

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  3. too funny. i mostly agree with that list. mostly. but lord help him if he stays out all night! :)

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  4. I'm with you all the way :)
    If we are home, then shouldn't we take the time to make it stay that way? A haven for our families?
    I know my husband appreciates a meal being ready when he gets home- he has said so. And that look he has- the happy one when he comes in and smells it- that makes ME happy.

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  5. I LOVE this post! Women tend to forget we were created to be a help mate and vice versa. There is nothing wrong with creating a welcoming environment for the head of your house! Kudos to you for having the guts to share your thoughts!

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  6. I LOVE this list! I wish I had it printed in my pantry. I have always felt it was my job and its my desire to make my house our home. That my husband come home to a clean house and a hot meal. I am by no means perfect and I think its cool how you put it "a girl of 2011" because its true. Life isint quite as simple as it was in the 50's but they had a good thing going. So I will keep up the momentum and hopefully teach my daughter a thing or two about home making.

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  7. I agree to your post the way you said it. I wish I could be a stay at home mum, but I am working full time - so is my husband. I wish I could spend more time at home, making it nice for everyone. Well, it IS nice. But I could make it even nicer. I never cook (everyone is eating at work/school), I wish I could. Hm.
    So these things really don't offend me, although things have changed. And I guess husbands back then also listened to their wives' complaints - just not the minute they came home from work.
    Jule

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