My 3 Monsters: "If You Can't Say Anything Nice . . . "

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9.03.2012

"If You Can't Say Anything Nice . . . "

I've banished myself to the blog penalty box this past week.  I've been bad.  And grumpy.  On the verge of a breakdown, really.  I've vowed to keep it real around here, and I do, but I also always try to look for the silver lining on every cloud.  If I ever get so down in the dumps that I can't think of anything nice to say, I prefer to keep it to myself {and, unfortunately, my immediate family} which is where I've been for the past few days.

They say "when it rains, it pours", but sometimes I wonder if it ever stops.  This past year has been a kind-of permanent rainy season for us.  That's not all bad -- with a lot of rain come a lot of rainbows.  We've grown a lot and have become very grateful for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that we have in our lives.  With that said, this past week's flash flood of troubles has had me completely swamped. 

Brent was in a car accident about ten days ago, which was troubling.  That's a phone call you never want to get, but he was fine and we have good insurance.  Then we found out that the car was totaled. Our new car {new to us anyway, and in pristine condition}that we have only had for a couple of months was kaput.  The one that we got not because we wanted a new car, but because our last car completely died -- like, beyond repair.  Not our van that is on it's last legs anyway, but our good car is no more.  

So we will have to share a single car until we can save up another down payment.  It will be fine.  It will mean me spending hours in the car everyday picking people up and dropping them off all over the valley, but at least we still have the van.  I can see that as a blessing now.  For the past few days, not so much.  

To add insult to injury, the air conditioner in our home decided to stop blowing cold air.  I called the repair company and they came out within a couple of hours, which is super awesome because it is still hot here.  Real, real hot.  $700 and a new condenser motor later we were back in business.  There went a big chunk of the down payment on a second new car, but, luckily, my husband has been working so we had the money in our account to pay for it.  Also luckily, his contract at his job was extended by six weeks.  I can also see now how those blessing far outweigh the troubles, but it has taken me a little while to get here.

I have been stuck in the middle of a major pity party this past week.  It didn't feel fair that we have to struggle so much while people all around us have it so easy.  {I know that that's not true -- everyone has their struggles -- but when you're a pity party you put blinders on to those truths.}  I was angry and bitter and really, really unpleasant.  I hate feeling that way, but I couldn't rise above it.  I didn't want to recognize all the great things that had happened in that same span of time.  It was easier to be angry and sad.  

It didn't help that I was feeling physically ill at the same time.  My skin has been hurting, like I have a rash or something, but I don't, and if I do anything very strenuous, my blood sugar drops and I get shaky and sweaty and feel awful . {I don't know how my Riley does it every day.}  I spent two or three days laying on the couch doing very little, which gave me a lot of time to feel a lot sorry for myself. 

Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and put an end to the pity party.  I have had to force myself to say a prayer of gratitude for a blessing in my life every single time a negative thought crosses my mind.  I've had to force myself to carry on with my family and church responsibilities as if nothing were wrong.  I've also had to let people step in and help with things that were too big for me to do on my own, and recognize how blessed I am that there are plenty of people who want to help.  I've had people who have no idea what's going on in my life {or me head} call out of the blue and offer to take on some of my responsibilities, and then call again to thank me for letting them do it.  If that is not evidence of a loving Heavenly Father working through righteous people to take care of his child, I don't know what is.

Things seem a lot brighter today.  I feel better physically and emotionally.  Hopefully I'll get some fun things posted this week.  Thanks for hanging in there with me!

5 comments:

  1. Sorry you & your family are having a rough time. Those seasons of rain are hard but you already see the blessings & little things from God in it all which is awesome :)

    Here's to hoping you have a blessed week!

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  2. Amy, you always keep it real and funny which is what I love about you! I hope everything starts to look up. I have been pretty much done this year with my back and just had back surgery 2 weeks ago and have had my share of pity parties and major breakdowns :) Thank goodness for the the power of prayer! Love ya!

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    Replies
    1. Oh man . . . I hope your back gets better. That is really rough. Thanks for the encouragement.

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  3. I hope everything starts being a little bit sunnier soon. I'll be praying for you!

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  4. Bad day - Bad week - Bad long time... Amy it just plain sucks. Finding the sliver lining is THE only way to keep on keeping on. Sometimes the sliver lining is so very hard to see. Good for you for digging down and finding it. Hang in there my dear friend!

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