My 3 Monsters: To Be, or Not To Be . . .

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11.10.2008

To Be, or Not To Be . . .

. . . a career woman. That is the question. I am exhausted. I did the tally tonight. 61.5 hours painting, 16 hours travelling. But I thought the toll was only being taken on me. I thought I was doing a pretty good job of keeping things balanced and toeing the line here at home. I thought. Tonight I tucked my sweet children in bed. Brent is in his own personal heaven attending the Monday Night Cardinals/49ers Football game so it was just me and the kids having family prayer and stuff. We reviewed the events of the day and talked of our plans for tomorrow. When I told them that they would be spending the day at the Wells' house tomorrow so I could go finish painting, both boys broke down into tears. (I should say here that our kids LOVE the Wells'. Going to their house is quite a treat. Most days.) I asked what was wrong and both boys just cried. No words. " Has mommy been gone too much lately?" I asked. Riley said, "I don't know," probably fearing my response if he told the truth. Dylan grabbed me and held on to my neck for dear life. Sydney just kissed my cheek and went off to bed. Stoic, that one. We wiped tears, prayed for some divine emotional intervention and got everyone tucked into bed. Hours later here I sit, waiting for Brent to come home and wondering if it's all really worth it. Wondering what I missed out on in those 76.5 hours and if my time was really spent in the best possible way. Can I do this work up to my personal standards and still be the kind of mom I want to be? And what would my Heavenly Father want me to do? *sigh*

3 comments:

  1. Hm.... good question. That no one can answer but you. But I sure love your emotional bunch. Such sweet kids.

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  2. Ready or Not - Here is my two sense...
    This isn't a full time job, it's a short term burst of money. And MOST of those hours were spent while the kids were in school. So you missed a couple of Saturdays. That is a fantastic opportunity for your husband and kids to bond. A fantastic opportunity for all groups to re-evaluate and learn to appreciate (AKA not take for granted) one another.
    I am also going to add that those kids were dog tired last night (I saw them running and playing) all of us have more emotions when tired.
    Enjoy the moment. They love their mommy. You were given a fantastic opportunity to teach them about the power of prayer - in REAL life. You showed them that YOU know that prayer can help with whatever situation comes up. You taught them that Heavenly Father will lift them up and calm their hearts ----
    You ARE a FANTASTIC MOMMY! If you weren't, they wouldn't miss you...

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW! ditto to Tammy, I think she about nailed it!

    ReplyDelete

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